An Introduction to Myn Travels and Adventures.

It pleaseth me to introduce thou to my journal of adventure and excytement in myn travels of World of Warcraft. I shall informe ye of beasts in syze that ye could bear notte to see, and thyngs that may haunt thy very soul.

Ye be warned of thy perille and the choice to continue yf you wish be on your head

Bugger Thys Forre a Larke  

Posted by Oliver Whitham in

Ien haste been farre too busyee these past dayes, mien minde haste been racing fastere than thee fineste steed ande I have beene unable to reste these dayes with my sleepe arrivinge not before thee fourth hour on thee fyne morning.

Mine solice is in mien writing atte this time, only when mein minde ist drained or when I exercise greatly do I fynde sleepe cometh.

Inne thee tyme untill I reste I may write upon an gadget of greate powere, or maynste my minde worke wyth ease myne writings may covere thee lyfe of ein great celebritee.

I Haste Been Conned by Myne Lord!  

Posted by Oliver Whitham in , ,

It was a fyne day todaye when I was strolling through thee woode. As I wente past a vaste shrub 2 score of beaste jumped out upone me.

Haha! I thought, For knowest not these beastes that I had Learned a spelle of masse power from a Master Prieste.

Withe great zeal I caste Holy Nova, a spelle so powerfulle it promised to bothe heal myneself and destroy myne enemy.

Tenne of my lords secondes later I laye upon the grounde as exhaustede as a whore in thee fabled city of Amster-Damned at three in thyne morninge. My strengthe had beene drained ande my mana lay wasted as the beasts around me stood unharmed.

Oh woe I shouted, Whate Powerfulle Being woulde forsake me withe this shyte. as the beastes jumped upone me.

Thynges woulde notte have fared well for me that nyghte had it not been for a huntere who wase in the vicinitee of myselfe. Wythe a hefte of hys bow he sente a barrage of arrows towards myn enemy. In seconds these beasts were slain.

I am beginninge to think thee priestly wayes are not as powerfulle as I was lead to belyve.

Return to the Isle of Sunwell.  

Posted by Oliver Whitham in , , ,

I wast most shocked upon returning to myne fyne city of stormwinde to fynde a night elfe of great beauty dancing upon a fountaine of tremendouse hyghte. Shye was clad yne the barest of garmentes. I wath entranced by her dance of seduction fore some tyme, but had to departe as I hath become hard of minde that I shalle returne to Sunwell Isle.

I hath decided to returne upon the Sunwell Isle after worde of weapons of great repute available for myne adventure reached myne ears. Upon reaching myne goal I met upon a man who said he would build a great anvile wythe iron ore from thee vile water creatures to the east. Wythe zeal I travelled to the shores and defeated many of thee amphibiouse swyne, I stole thee ore ande returned wyth myne noble prize.

Thee armourer took my ore and said, thanken you kynd sir, thee anvyl will sone be complyte ane you wyle be able too make youre wares. To whit I repliede 'but I am a bastarde alchemist'

Oh howe he laughed, what a foole am I.

In recompense he offerede me some golde and offerede me more if I coulde bringe more of thys fyne ore. I replied wythe a hearty yes, for my purse is sorely empty after I spent tyme in thee taverns of stormwind, I thynk thee night elfe sparse of clothes did theive some pence from myne pocket after I saw her that nyght.

Do not aske questions aboute that afaire, When I removed her garments my heart filled wythe terror whene I found that shee wase notte infact ofe the female kinde. howe shocked I wase to discovere this swyne had posede as a female.

I doo not understande thee mindes of humanes, there are somme depthes I dare notte tread. I ma fortuitous that I escaped from that affair ande am now steadfast in resolutione to be warey of thee female kind in this worlde.

An Update on Myne Love - Rejected  

Posted by Oliver Whitham in ,

Myne blessed princesse hath a whip ofe most acute payne. Indeed myne flighte hast never been so hastily runne as myne mistress tooke too thy aire on great leathern wings. I do notte hath a clue as too howe I missed those great thynges.

Fromm thys day forthe aye shalle seeke women from myne realme onley.

An Moste Ynteresting Thynge  

Posted by Oliver Whitham in ,

Todaye I was moste soreley vexed, I cast myne moste poweful spelle ande yet thee beaste evaded wythe great dexterity. Eyven strangere thye beate didde notte seeke to harme me after I infrynged Uponne hym. Thyse evente troubles me greatly, am I that weake in thyse land, ore are yts monsteres fooles ofe hygh order?

Todaye I also sawe a Warloke, whom I tolde to reforme his ways. He introduced me too hys fiende Shara, she yst prettey as a royale princesse, I shalle proposee to wedd her todaye,

Today I Joineth the Battle of Quel'Danas  

Posted by Oliver Whitham in , , ,

Today I flew wyth great stead from the vaste Gates of Ironforge, I goe to seeke myne destyne upon the shores of Quel'Danas, known to myne travellers as Sunwell Isle. I landed upon a shyp of mayne colour and tolde to help clear some creatures of vile skille. Fighting alongside me wereth some creatures of great repelance.

I questioned a follow priest on the location of ayne post box, hoping of brotherhood among myn priestly bretheren. He replied "L0Lz N00b", Indeed thys Isle ist strange, I have much to learn. I said unto myn provokere that I had been of thy bretheren for years thrice, and challenged the swyne to duel. He then did changeth into the armour of the office of welfare in myne fyne city of Stormwind and myne arse wast sorely beaten.

I hoped that I coulde proveth my worth to myn juste cause and set off to kill some of the malformede creatures that pesterde our borders. I put upon my a powerfulle shield of great strengthe and attacked the wretched fiende wyth myn full mighte. The bastarde stole myn mana and broke through my shield. Ohe Shyte I said. With my laste effort of will I sent the wasted beaste to his grave. Then a Rogue of great impotance proved hith manhood by stabbing me ineth thee back. Swyne.

Iye have decided to wythdrawe from thys isle fore some tyme, the people areth of a most peculiare nature and tention is hygh.